It’s something I’ve been thinking about A LOT bc at uni I’m studying social work and find the way Autism is taught about is not good, and the mental health classes have actually disencouraged me…. So, yes, I understand exactly what you mean and appreciate that neither you or any one owes anyone else insight into your/their diagnosis/disability/neurotype. It’s like I have to combine my bubbliness and bitterness into one, and every time I try to bend and break my brain to make it work it inevitably results in a person with conflicting attributes.
I find myself caught in a struggle, a struggle between who I WANT to be, and the kinds of things my trauma forces me to be. My experiences are ones that matter, yes, but like, I just don’t want it to make me into someone all bitter and anti-fun, you know? It’s left me feeling so scarred, so nervous, so broken 💔 I had so much, my childhood, my pride, so many things taken because of it, things that I may never be able to replace. If “autism” around here can be fluid, if it can be a disability or a superpower or lots of other things depending on what I feel like on any day and people MUST automatically respect it, then here and ONLY here do I feel comphy calling myself “autistic”.īut even then, if I do accept being “autistic”, I have to face an awful reality that comes with it - that I was hurt in really AWFUL ways by others because of it, I’m a victim of systematic bigotry. It’s why I’m genderfluid, I get the best of all genders, and new genders that don’t even have names yet. I can only hope you see the essential principle there, because i have not the spoons to expand upon it, really. One is the language that seeks to liberate, and one is a language that seeks to oppress. It’s the same word, but different languages, really.
In one language, “autistics” are more or less the same, and in the other, they are allowed to be very much different.Ī person from Santa Cruz, California, and another from Harrison, Arkansas, both use the word “freedom”.
#Teenage bounty hunters gay license#
One is the language of asserting equal freedoms, and one is the language that gives license to oppress others on account of the uncontrollable circumstances of birth. These two people might be using the same *English* word, but they might as well be speaking two different languages. We see another person from reddit who uses it in “autism screech”. We take a person from here who uses the word “autism” to describe who they are. I saw yesterday just how diverse “autism” can be, just how different you all can be, how it’s just common sense around here not to make assumptions about people with autism. Like I have to live two different lives, and bend and break my brain just to barely make things work out for me in an unjust, indifferent universe That I have to be like, two different people, walking in two different worlds: one where I can embrace being “autistic”, and one where I can’t It’s like… if I EVER want to be myself and content and happy with who I am and at the same time rationally and successfully navigate an unjust and indifferent world with a broken, unstable system…. Not out of malice or deliberate bigotry every time, but like, because HUMANS and their monkey ass brains don’t really strive towards TRUTH as much as they strive towards internal CONSISTENCY of their beliefs, their thoughts, their emotions, including those involving ANY group they’ve come to believe about them, hence unconscious biases, of which PITY and TOXIC POSITIVITY and INITIALIZATION of us neurodivergents is especially insidious.
If they’ve seen ONE “autistic” like that, they think ALL are like that. Even now, with accepting communities like this to help us, outside in the rest of the world, I learned the hard way that it’s REALLY good advice not to tie yourself to the “autism” image.īetween employers, “normies” out there, people who you have to interact with to do what you want in life, they don’t think twice when they hear you say “I am autistic”.
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